"You thrill me, Lord..."
"You thrill me, Lord..."
Okay. I officially call it.
It is the most debilitating of all emotion-thought-feelings.
It takes you from logical, faith-full human to .... (insert your worst head-state scenario here).
I was teaching the children class at my church a few Sundays ago and we were discussing the story of Creation and how amazing everything was before we sinned.
The Lord helped us to understand that He did not create us with fear or shame (we can talk about shame on another day).
Case in point, when the Lord was bringing the animals for Adam to name - do you think He brought the lions and tigers and dinosaurs(!) in a cage or with a leash around their neck? (Genesis 2:19)
That would be a solid no.
Even more, do you think the animals we consider ferocious today were tied to trees or walking freely around the garden? (Genesis 3:1)
Fear was non-existent! Adam and Eve had zero reason to fear because they knew God was right there.
They had no reason to fear anyone's intentions - because they had no concept of evil.
Fear comes from knowing evil.
You are only afraid your children will be kidnapped, because you know children get kidnapped.
You are only afraid you will lose your job because you know people get fired..
Catch my drift, here?
Well, guess what you guys, we are no longer in the Garden of Eden - physically at least. (Shocker!)
But spiritually, we have been returned to that state of oneness, relationship and trust with God.
We don't have to fear - we have zero reason to fear - because we know that God is right there.
Sadly, I don't think we can do anything about the knowing evil part. Our ancestors ingested that fruit (I hope it went down well, Adam! 🙄)
Maybe we can - I don't know.
My point though is that we can choose, today, not to live in fear!
Who's with me with God?!
Many are the fears of a man, but the Lord invalidates them all.
When terrible things happen, probably one of the hardest things to do is to accept it.
They say the first stage of grief is denial. They are right. Because acceptance makes that situation real; it's no longer a bad dream that you can wake up from and find that everything is okay.
They say this because the quicker you accept, the quicker you can begin to heal.
But God is asking us for more than just acceptance. He is asking us to trust Him.
If you genuinely prayed, and you begged God and yet it happened, or didn't happen as the case may be, then you have to trust that He knows what He is doing.
You have to trust that what He is doing is for your sake.
You have to trust that what He is doing is for your good.
And I know it hurts because I have been there. Heck, I am still there. And I will probably always be as long as my wants differ from His.
But I am cool with that because I know that what He wants is my good. What He wants is for me to be happy and fulfilled and satisfied.
That's what makes Him happy and gives Him glory, like any good parent.
Here's where you make a decision. Choose to trust. Choose to accept and I promise that you will feel better. The peace that surpasses understanding will appear, and you will be fine.
Philippians 4:7, Psalm 16:2, Psalm 138:8, Psalm 138:3
Good morning! Its 3:30am on this side of the world and it's officially January 28th, which means it is my sister's birthday!!!
Side note: I called her about 30 minutes ago and said, "Are you sleeping?" *insert evil laugh*
If this specially dedicated post is not clear enough, I love my sister.
I know what you are thinking, and I am not trying to one-up her AT ALL. *insert evil laugh*
But seriously, if you have ever had the pleasure of meeting my sister, you will understand the remaining part of this post.
One lesson the Lord has been teaching me quite recently (and which makes even more sense now) is that everyone in your life - especially in your immediate family - is deliberately placed there by Him, because you need their influence in your life - however great, however small - to fulfill your purpose here on earth.
Thousand kisses for ya.
Now...to the important sisterly duties (video time!)
"You don't have to change the world today; you just have to listen to Me." Those were the words the Lord whispered in my spirit a couple of minutes ago - literally.
It's been a while since I have written a blog. Honestly, it's been a while since I have written more than a full paragraph.
I'm not sure why. I can't tell you why.
I think part of me is terrified of staring at a blank screen, while my fingers hover aimlessly above the keyboard.
I think part of me wants to be the one with the best write-ups and the best quotes, so I relentlessly second-guess everything I do.
I don't know. And honestly, I am starting to realize, it does not matter.
What matters is that I ignore those thoughts, those feelings, those things that do not want me to do what I was made to do. And actually do it.
So, I am here. Doing it.
I read something on social media less than 20 minutes ago, written by someone I'd like to consider my friend, and I was struck. I was (and still am) floored by all she had gone through spiritually, and how mature she is now. And of course, I began to compare her to myself. Her achievements to mine.
I woke up with a start about 40 minutes ago. I had been praying when I fell asleep. Just before I fell asleep, I knew I would because it is so darn cold and I was bundled up under the covers. Yet, when I woke up, I had to consciously remind myself not to feel bad for taking a nap in the middle of the day.
"You don't have to change the world today," the Love of my Life reminds me, "you just have to listen to Me."
Okay, Dad. Okay.
I hope you are happy today.
It's funny: in a world so desperate for some form of happiness, we seem to do everything but what would actually make us happy.
Even we who call ourselves Christians.
It's crazy because, like, we have the Source of Joy Himself as a Father, yet somehow, we manage to self-sabotage.
Thank God because he never stops helping us.
This post was supposed to be a hi, so I will keep it short.
Today, I pray that you are happy.
I think I first saw Demi Lovato in Camp Rock.
There was something so relatable, so likable about her. Maybe it was her full-mouthed smile that made you want to smile too or her unencumbered laugh that, well, made you want to laugh too...
...There was just something about Demi.
Her unabashed honesty about what she was going through (i.e. her psychological disorders) was refreshing and endearing.
And I loved her. I prayed for her.
Then, she began to veer off onto a path that, despite my love for her, I could not follow her on.
I could have prayed.
I should have prayed.
But I didn't.
I may have muttered a few half-hearted words to God on her behalf. Maybe.
I stopped following her. I stopped praying for her.
Hearing the news of her overdose last Tuesday hit me hard. Right in the gut.
How dark of a place she must have been to forget about the last 6 years of her sobriety and use to a point of overdosing.
I was upset for hours. I am still upset, over a week later.
Oh, dear Demi, my heart cries out for you. Forgive its traitorous nature.
I pray to God that you are okay. And I pray to God that once more, you will find your way to Him - the only One who can truly satisfy you - mind, body, and spirit.
I love you. You brought laughter and hours of singing and dancing to my life.
But God loves you more. He will bring laughter and hours of singing and dancing to your life, again.
He promises. Just trust Him.
Psychologists have a theory; they say "bad is stronger than good." That is, our perception of negativity is stronger and far outweighs our ability to see what is good around us. It would be hard, during this time, to focus on the thousands of people who love you and want to see you get well. But try.
No, actually, scratch that.
Don't focus on them. They could be like me and desert you when they don't like something you do. They are human.
Focus on God. He loves you. He's got you. He knows you - flaws and all. He will never, ever disappoint you.
Dear Demi, feel better soon.
Picture of Demi above pulled from: https://bit.ly/2KkBJQe
Nothing hurts more than thinking I heard You when I didn't.
Your love is amazing.
It is able to relieve the pressure of burdens on my heart.
Because I remember that You, Who loves me so amazingly, is the One who controls all things.
Sometimes I forget, but always bring me gently to remembrance of Your amazing love.
Not being happy for someone else is like telling God: "I don't want my own."
I hope your week has been great so far.
My week has been, well, you know...
If you have read at least a few of the content on this website, you'd know that I get overwhelmed pretty quickly.
Well, really...I freak out over the littlest thing at the beginning of the day and then the freaking out escalates as I go through the day just wishing I could go hide in my bed so as to un-freak out from the first littlest thing.
Anyway, I am getting better. At least I think I am.
That's why this week was, for lack of a better word, crazy!
It's only Thursday and I have visited six cities all over the East Coast. Cities that I have never been to
I hung out with a friend in Winder, GA, and we went to Zaxby's. (seriously, shout-out to Zaxby's for those insane wings).
Also, I went to the Mayfield Dairy Farms in Braselton, GA. (The best part of that visit was hearing Christian songs blasting unashamedly from the overhead speakers.) Second best part? Milking a cow.
Fine, it was not a real cow.
Then, I saw The Shack. I can truly say: this movie drew me closer to God. More to come later.
I drove to Athens, GA (UGA Campus) and had lunch with another friend who is enGAGED TO BE MARRIED AND I AM SO EXCITED FOR HER AND AHHHHHHH!!!! THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!!
Got on a flight to Long Island, NY with my family. Then, we were off to up-state New York (Albany-area) to visit a college. It was so cold, yet beautiful. But I missed Atlanta. It's already spring here; they still had undissolved snow on the ground (or was that Massachusetts?) and zero leaves on their trees. Yeah...
We, then, drove to Hartford, Connecticut. (Oh, I also passed through Massachusetts! That definitely counts.)
Thankfully, back home. There is no place like home, they say. They are right!
Alright, now to the cool part. Not that travelling was not cool. This is just cool-er.
Realizations I came into and lessons I learned this week:
I am a firm believer that God has a reason for everything, and that there is a purpose for everything. And so coming into these realizations this week was so cool for me. It made me feel like I was in a God-directed Pokemon Go! game where I was discovering all these treasures, instead of the ordinary acts of just hanging out with friends and traipsing through the East Coast.
1. We (all of us, like every single breathing human being on this planet) are very loved by God. He is "especially fond" of us. - The Shack.
Yes, I loved The Shack. No, I did not think it was heretical. Yes, I will write a detailed review soon.
2. Showing my feelings does not make me weak. Guarding my heart does not make me strong. I don't have to build a 256 feet brick wall around my heart and not let anyone in. The wall is not strong enough to protect me. God is. The wall will only succeed in pushing people away.
3. Life at any time, T, might be a lot. But it is not a lot for God.
4. Always try to look at life and situations from the point of view of the person you're mad at. Forgive.
Right-brained extrovert. Left-brained introvert.